


slipping sanity

by maaii



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, AtLA, Azula - Freeform, Azula needs a hug, Chi - Freeform, Ember Island, F/F, FEMS, Femme, Firebending, Kataang - Freeform, LGBTQ, Lesbian, avatar the last air bender - Freeform, azula post therapy, mentalhealthawareness, tlok - Freeform, tyzula - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:01:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26590303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maaii/pseuds/maaii
Summary: Ty Lee visits Azula in jail, fluff,idk, happy ending.Azula is 16, so is Ty Lee. idk man, it fits, and plus, i feel uncomfy writing this ab someone whos still classified as a child :)
Relationships: Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

The food, she thinks, is in her top five list of the most horrible things about this instutution.

Theyve been feeding her water peasant food. turtle duck stew, and sea prunes. three times a week, they give her cold, slimy food.

nevertheless, she has to eat, because if she doesnt, these damned 'kyoshi warriors' wont leave her alone.

“Azula, you have to eat. if you dont, i'll shove it down your damn throat." One of them warns. She thinks her name is 'tai' but she cant be sure.

Tai.

Tai..Ty Lee. She glares at her.

"come to gloat? you disgusting, filthy traitor. you and I could have run the world. I-I could have loved you." She spits

the girl whimpers and backs away.

"i-im not Ty Lee! Shes with Suki!" She scampers away, leaving Azula alone, with cold food. Something pulls at her chest. rage, maybe. or just lonliness.

Thats the worst thing about being here. Aside from the occasional visit from one of those damned Kyoshi Warriors, shes alone. No ZuZu, no Ty Lee, no Mai. No one.

Its fine. She has her memories. she has The pictures of Ty Lee in her mind, and when she closes her eyes, she can see A giggling little girl, a long braid down her back, and an apple in hand. The picture changes. Ty Lee, Crying with her hands in her face, saying "im scared."  
That..That hurts her. It hurts to know that shes afraid of her.

She should be afraid.

She opens her eyes, and the figure of her mother stands in front of her.

"what do you want from me." She spits, thrashing in her jacket.

"im sorry Azula. Im sorry that I didnt love you enough." Her smile fades into a sneer. "Im sorry that youre a horrible, disgusting, scary monster. Youre a monster, Azula. Dont you ever forget it."

"NO! IM NOT A MONSTER..IM..im not. im not a monster." The image of her mother fades away, and shes alone again.

Some nights her memories haunt her. She remembers fire being hurled at her when training with her father, and being told to 'brush it off'. she remembers Ty Lee betraying her. She remembers everything. Sometimes, her mother comes back to taunt her. to tease her, sometimes to love her, but only to be ripped away.

A woman enters the room.

"Azula. I'm a therapist, im here to help you." She looks up and sees her mothers face flickering on an middle aged womans face.

“you dont want to help me."

"Azula, you arent alone. youre loved."

You’re loved.

Ty Lee told her that once. It made her stomach flutter, and her eyes tear up.

"Azula, you arent loveless."

“I am. No one loves me. not Ty Lee, Not Mai, Not ZuZu, not even my own mother.”she quips

The woman reaches out to touch her shoulder, and Azula jerks away.

"a day from now, youre going to be released. you'll be taken care of."

"by who?"

"an old friend." The woman takes another step towards her.

An old friend..Azula doesnt have any old friends. Besides Mai and Ty Lee.

No.

No, NO. 

She takes a deep, warm breath, and feels the womans body heat radiating. in and out. from her diaphram to her throat, she can feel heat bubbling. remember what daddy told you. you can find warmth, heat, and fire, anywhere. even in the freezing catacombs of a mental instituition, she finds fire.

She opens her mouth and lets fire roar out, singing the womans hair as she dodges.

"GO, LEAVE! I DONT WANT TO SEE ANYONE"

The womans lip curls into a frown as she shakes her head.

~~~~~~~

its been a day, as far as Azula knows.

the heat is gone. The bubbling in her stomach has subdued, and the kyoshi warriors are pumping cold air into her room.

One of them looks like Ty Lee. her hair is braided, and under the makeup, Azula can tell that her eyes are bright and lively.

Those lively, happy eyes. She misses them.

But unless she cooperates, she'll spend an iternity in here. Day by day, the aching will eat away at her, until shes an empty, hollow shell.

And no one will remember her.

No one will miss her.

No one will look for her, no one will go to her funeral (if she doesnt get left alone in her room, leaving her skeleton to rot) And no one will notice, that azulas room is suddenly quiet.

“are you happy? youve finally done it." She sees her mother in front of her.

"you are worthless. you should just let yourself die."

"I KNOW! I KNOW I SHOULD DIE, I KNOW!" Her screams tear through her throat, and ursa closes her eyes, and fades away.

"Sorry girls, could you move please?"

Sometimes she hears Ty Lees voice.

“Azula? is she in here?"

She wants to cover her ears and melt away. she wants to forget Ty Lee, and let herself succomb to the darkness.

The door creaks open.

"Suki, Im fine! she'll remember me, it'll be okay."

Shes not real. This isnt real.

"Azula..?" Her voice is meek and soft.

"Ty Lee." She croaks. Tears stream down her face.

She came. Ty Lee came to see her. 

"ive missed you.."

"dont take another step. are you real?" Shes suspicious. Shes had these kind of visions before, of Ty Lee standing in front of her. Telling her stories, telling her that she loves her, only to open her eyes and see a blank wall.

"Dont be silly! of course I'm real."

"fine, then get me out of this damned straightjacket."

Ty Lee furrows her brows before leaning out the door and yelling "can i take her out of it?"

"Yeah, youre good, we'll be out here incase you need anything." Suki's voice booms.

"so, i see youve got your kyoshi warrior girlfriend keeping watch on me? afraid i'll burn you?" Azula sneers.

"Shes not my girlfriend, shes with Sokka." 

She hesitantly takes a step towards azula, who raises her eyebrows.

"dont look at me like that! im trying to help you."

She undoes the clasps in the back, and cuts the straps the bind her to her chair.

She doesn’t even feel herself moving, but suddenly shes bounding towards Ty Lee, and slinging her arms over her shoulders.

Shes trembling.

"god..I missed you so much." Azula buries herself in Ty Lees neck, letting tears stream down her face.

"i know, i know you did. I missed you too." She strokes Azulas hair.

She pulls back and holds Azulas hands in hers.

"we need to get you out of here."

"why? so you and your little friends can-"

Blackness. The face of betrayal, as Ty Lee yet again, Chi blocks her

"im sorry." she whispers

~~~~~~~~~~


	2. Chapter 2

Theres something eating away at her. something darker than the visions of her mother that litter her mind, darker than the feeling of everyone being ripped away. Its empty.

Empty, empty, empty.

Its easier to give up, isnt it. She gave up long ago, on being loved, on trying to be approachable. its easier to scare people anyways.

everything is gone. Mai isnt her friend, and has she ever been? Her mother thought she was a monster, and her father hurt her. He didnt trust her, and he didnt love her. Zuzu was afraid of her, and he eventually betrayed her.

And like a little flickering fire, the only light in her life was ripped away too. She'd pushed too far, and she payed for it.

Shes alone. She'll always be alone, always push them away.

Her mothers face pops into her mind.

"you are a starved, unlovable, cold, worthless girl. no wonder they dont love you."

Her face changes to Ty Lees.

"You scare me Azula. why would i ever love you? youre a monster."

Then Mai.

"I love Zuko more than i fear you."

ZuZu.

"mom didnt love you, because youre a monster."

A monster, thats what she is.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME? I KNOW IM A MONSTER, I KNOW, I KNOW!" a scream rips from her throat as blue fire tears from her mouth, and her hands clasp over her ears.

The faces change at rapid pace, screaming 'monster.'

Chad.

Then Uncle Iroh.

The avatar and his pretty little girlfriend.

And lastly, her father.

"youre just like me, Azula." He reaches out to nick her chin. "Youre evil. no one understands you, but i do. do what i want..and I'll let you rule the world. just you and me." The smile on his face curls into a sneer.

"sike."

And just like that, he melts away.

tears begin streaming down her face, and suddenly, shes strapped to a chair in the mental institute again, unable to move as her own figure slaps her across the face.

"this is for hurting me"

"this is for pushing everyone away."

"for being deviant."

"no one loves you."

and once again, shes in the dark, and alone.

"no..no, NO" her voice is hoarse and she thrashes in her chair.

"azula...azula, wake up!"

Her eyes snap open.

Ty Lee, leaning over her, with a mug in hand and her brows upturned.

Theres this look, this energy in her eyes.

The way Ursa looked at her in her last moments at home, the kiss to her forehead. The look Ty Lee used to give her when they were younger. The look of praise that her father gave her, and the soft, tender energy that resonated in Chad before their breif kiss.

"azula, its okay..Im here." she whispers, clasping Azulas hand in hers.

Her head is spinning. All of that..it wasnt real. But this is real.

"where am I?" She croaks.

"I..I'm sorry. I panicked and i Chi blocked you and-"

"Dont be sorry, i probably deserved it." she reaches up to cup Ty Lees face in her hand, and a grin spreads across her face.

A stupid, silly grin.

But Azula cant bring herself to make fun of her. This girl just took her away from the lowest ring of hell, how could she?

She feels heat course through her body and pulse at her fingertips.

"ouch!" Ty Lee yelps and pulls away, pressing her hand to her cheek.

"sorry..It happens when i.."

Ty Lee cuts her off. "I know."

That little voice inside her is screaming, "no, dont trust her. you cant trust her, she doesnt love you-"

"can you..?" Azula pats the spot next to her in her cot, moving over to make space.

"yeah." She sits down cross legged, and Azula chooses to ignore the pull at her chest, and the lump in her throat.

"I..I see her. My mother..you, Zuzu, and mai."

"i know. The Kyoshi warriors told me that they can..see you screaming. They hear you talking..to her."

Of course they did.

"what else did they tell you?"

"well, one of them said that you thought she was me, but-"

"whatever you think i said, I didnt." Azula snaps, heat rushing back to her hands.

"okay, okay. Just..tell me whats wrong." She puts her hands up in defeat.

"when i see them..theyre always screaming at me."

"what do they say?" She slips her hand over Azulas, meeting her eyes.

"they called me.." She chokes. "A monster."

"oh..Azula," She throws her arms around her.

"and I am..I'm a monster."

"no you arent Azula, youre..hurt."

"obviously! my father used me as a war weapon, my mother didnt love me, zuzu never loved me, or backed me up, and you-"

You dont love me either.

She wants to scream it from the hills.

"you betrayed me." She retracts from the hug and turns away, letting silent tears slip down her face.

"I know i did. and for that..Im sorry, but-"

"sorry doesnt cut it Ty Lee!" she feels the fire bubbling in her stomach.

"fine, you wanna know what I think? I think that youre..scary. You scare me, Azula! Im afraid of you. No..not of you, but what you can do. You killed a 12 year old boy without any remorse, how can i be sure that i wont make you mad, and then you'll kill me too? Azula, I want you to get better, and I want to help you get better. But i cant do that if you close yourself off! Please, Let me in."

There are tears in her eyes.

Those big, grey eyes.

"Im sorry."

"Dont be. Lets just..go to sleep, and tomorrow morning, I'll explain everything."

She wants to say no.

She wants to say no, i cant go to sleep. Because if she goes to sleep, she'll see her mother again. She'll see herself, standing over Ty Lees scorched body, she'll have to bare being told that shes a monster. 

But for some reason, she doesnt think she'll dream tonight.

And curled up next to Ty Lee, she has a dreamless night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	3. Chapter 3

The air is crisp and a ray of light peeks through wooden floorboards. Azula rolls over in an attempt to get warm, and finds the other side of the bed empty.

Fine...She'll make do.

Shes never at peace. part of her wants to let herself melt, and throw herself at the world feet first, because at this point..who cares? The other part is afraid that if she just hands her heart over, she'll be heartbroken again. The visions will come back, and she'll get hurt.

She'll be alone.

But no-She has Ty Lee, and she has herself.

Ty Lee...

Shes afraid of her. She should be, Azula can barely trust herself.

How can she trust that she'll keep hold of her own strength. what if..what if she burns her? what if she snaps?

She wont let herself.

The smell of fire flakes draws her out of bed, and she finds her way to what she presumes to be the stairs to the hull of a..boat?

Why the hell is she on a boat?

She emerges from a step ladder and see's..a figure thats presumably Ty Lee, leaning over the railing of the boat, and staring into the sky.

"oh! youre awake!" She smiles kindly, and Azula melts.

"cmon, have some food, and we can talk. I'll explain everything."

She pulls over a stool and hold out a small pouch of fire flakes, and Azula happily obliges.

"first of all, did you..you know, see them? Last night?" Her voice is hushed, as if shes treading on a sulfur flat.

"No, i didnt dream at all"

"Good."

"Im sorry for snapping at you last night." her voice is barely a whisper. "azula, you arent a-"

“Loveless monster?" Azula mutters bitterly.

"yeah. I know you arent horrible, at least you dont go around killing people left and right."

Shes about to protest this statement, but decides against it.

“But..why do you try? why are you so kind to me? I wasnt exactly best friend of the year.”

“I can tell when someones aura is wilting.” 

Azula stifles a snicker and raises her eyebrows.

"Im serious! Im suprised you arent breaking out, thats one of the side affects." Her eyes are wide like saucers, and Azula feels warmth coursing through her body. The good kind, not the fiery angry kind.

She smothers a smile and changes the subject.

"so, what ring of hell are you bringing me to?" She peers over the railing, into the water.

"Ember island."

Azula practically chokes.

"WHERE?" she shrieks.

Ty Lee whimpers and covers her ears, and Azulas voice softens.

"sorry. but uh..why?"

"its peaceful, and theres no chance of you hurting anyone there, exept me. And plus, you have a big house."

"are we close?" She cant stand oceans. Its just...not right. Water is cold, and slimy, and their food is disgusting.

"We should be there in about..six hours, so, Lets talk."

Azula swallows thickly and turns away, staring into the depths of the water.

"so, Im gonna be helping you with.."

"what? With my pyschosis?" Azula rolls her eyes.

"Yeah, basically. Ember island is quiet, and I'll be using the water, crystals, and some other..tactics, to help heal you."

"im sorry, but couldnt you just call the avatars girlfriend and have her throw some water on to me? Isnt she supposed to be some healing master..?"

"Yes, hypothetically, I could do that. But..I wanted to be with you, and honestly, I dont think you'd be safe around people who dont know you."

"why..because they hate me, or because i hate them?"

"Azula!" Ty lee slaps her arm. "Hate is a very strong word."

"Thats why i used it." she mutters.

"excuse me?" Ty lee puts a hand on her hip and raises her brows, and she wears the same look that Mai has..or, Had, when Zuko did tricks with firebending.

"nevermind,"

Azula spends the rest of their little boat outing trying not to think about Mai.

~~~~~~~~

The house is..Nice. Just as large as Azula remembered it to be, but very, very messy. She presumes that Zuzu and his idiot friends were here before their invasion, and the remainder of rotting watermelon proves her theory.

"I almost forgot how nice these sheets are!" Ty Lee flops down ontop of her bed, spreading out on the sea shell spotted sheets.

Azula almost forgot how stupid she is. Not in an idiotic way, in a cute way. Shes still stuck in her little Ty Lee world, full of pink seashells and makeup and smiles. She usually despises people who are so disgustingly sweet, but its a good look on Ty Lee.

"So, you should probably do..whatever you need to do, I'll be down the hall, and we can eat soon!" She skips away.

Azula looks around, scowling when she sees a blue dress laid over her chair.

How dare that..that water peasant, sleep in HER room? 

How dare she strew her stuff all over the place?

"disgusting.." She grumbles as she picks up the dress.

Breathe in, breathe out. Heat bubbles in her stomach, and she hold the dress out before her.

Shes expecting blue flames to fly from her fingertips, but instead, a meek puff scorches a hole in the fabric, and its snuffed out quickly.

Thats..Unexpected.

Whatever. Shes probably just tired.

The sun is slowly dipping under the water when she emerges from her room, to see Ty Lee sitting on a pink pillow at a floor level table.

a teapot and two bowls of rice lay on the table, and Ty Lees smiling enthusiatically.

"Where'd you find the rice?"

"Zuko left a bag here, along with the tea."

"huh." She feels heat behind her eyes at the mention of her brother, and pushes it down, because if she cant get through one damn meal without crying, it'll never end.

"so, tomorrow i was thinking i'd read your aura, and then we can do some ocean therapy."

"uh huh..how do you plan on 'reading my aura'?" She snorts.

"hey! Its a very serious procedure! I might have to tap into your chi, so try to chill."

Chill. That wont be easy to do, considering that shes constantly at war with her own mind.

~~~~~~~~~~

"YOURE A MONSTER"

breathe. just breathe.

Her blood boils and she has the urge to burn everything insight.

No..theres nothing in sight, just darkness, and the faces of everyone shes hurt.

"Azula, no one loves you. Youre a jealous, spiteful, monster. You'll never know love." 

"Azula, I hate you. You ruined every chance i had at life."

"Why would I love you?"

she recognizes all the voices. Her mother, Zuko, And Ty Lee.

One after the other, the faces change, and they scream at her.

Then theyre gone, and shes drowning.

She can’t breathe, She cant find the air that she needs. Shes gasping for air, and she can taste salt in the back of her throat. Shes drowning, and no one is here, no one is helping her. No one is noticing, Shes screaming and no one can hear her.

Shes alone. shes alone in the bottom of the ocean, and no one is ever going to find out.

"Azula! Whats wrong?"

A muffled voice chops through the water, and she feels arms around her. 

"Shhh...Breathe, just breathe..youre okay, Im here."

She feels herself being pulled back to the real world.

"hey..HEY," the voice sounds like her mother. No..no, it cant be her.

"Ty Lee..?" Her voice is hoarse and cracked.

"yes, its me..what happened to you?"

"I cant..I couldnt breathe." She whispers, clawing at her throat.

"its okay..Youre okay."

"why are you helping me?" She whimpers

"Azula..you can trust me. I'm here to help you."

For the rest of the night, she drifts in and out of sleep in Ty Lees arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that was..dark. anyways, idk how to incorperate the fact that team avatar lived there before the battle soooo yeah.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW FOR SUICIDE AND BLOOD!
> 
> DONT READ THIS IF SUICIDE TRIGGERS YOU!

The next morning...

Ty Lees grinning and pulling Azula onto the beach, droplets of water glistening on her skin.

"cmon! It'll be fun!" She grins and Azula cant resist her, so she follows begrudgingly.

She should be perplexed, but everything about this feels so perfect. No visions, No fear, No images of her mother dancing before her eyes. Everything is fine.

"Ty Lee..you shouldnt be out here." somethings still off. Its not real..It cant be.

"come over here you dork! Its nice outside!" She skips away, kicking up sand as her feet hit the floor.

She runs after her, but her feet cant quite grip the sand, She cant find stability.

whatever..The sands probably just loose.

Ty Lee looks back at her with a smile on her face, and she stretches her arms out, bathing in the moonlight.

She looks gorgeous. Ethreal, even.

"Ty Lee, what the hell are you doing?"

"just shut up and get over here." 

Azula obliges, and A smug grin spreads over Ty Lees face.

She wraps her arms around Azula, swaying her in the light.

"what the-" Oh. OH

Ty Lees lips are on hers and shes pressing their foreheads together and shes suddenly smiling and-

And this is real. Its real.

Azula pulls her head away and widens her eyes at Ty Lee, a baffled look on her face.

"I love you, Azula" A smile spreads across Azulas face.

She loves her.

Ty Lee steps backwards, and widens her stance.

“Dont you wanna say bye to me?" a sad smile adorns her face and Azulas face falls.

"Ty Lee, what on earth are you doi-" Her pupils dialate as Ty Lee pulls a knife out from behind her back.

“What are you doing? Where did you get that! Ty Lee, i swear, if you dont give that to me right no-"

Ty Lee brings the knife to her own throat and traces a smiley face onto her skin.

“Say goodbye to me, this is your last chance."

"Ty Lee, This isnt a goddamn joke! put the knife down, right now!" her voice is strangled, and she cant quite get the words out

"Say goodbye."

"No. Im not saying it, youre not going anywhere!" Theres terror in her eyes.

"SAY IT!"

Ty Lees face falls and her expression goes blank.

“You should have said it while you had the chance." Her voice is barely a whisper as she moves the blade down, sinking it into her stomach.

Azula cant move.

She cant breathe.

Shes drowning again, she cant find the air that she needs.

It feels like Ty Lee is a million miles away, and she cant quite get to her.

She falls back with a thump and lands in the sand, turning her pink shirt red.

"NO! NO..no-" Azulas voice is choked as she starts running, her feet getting caught in the sand.

suddenly shes alot farther than before, and with every passing second, more blood is spilt.

Her body sinks into the sand and she hears one last inhale, before Ty Lees eyes go glassy.

“Azula!“

Her eyes snap open.

"are you okay? what happened?"


End file.
